falling apart
by sweetbubbles8888
Summary: with all the tramitic events happening in her life. she has to face the biggest of all.


What is love? A question I have asked my self for along time. I have fallen in love about 2 times, well at least I think and each time I've gotten my heart broken. it's the summer before 10th grade and for some reason I had changed. I didn't know why but I had changed. The love of my life broke up with me in June and ever since its been like I have been lost and don't know what to do. I've learned not to make someone your everything because when they leave your left with nothing.

(((((She will always love him. Even if he isn't hers anymore. She would still do anything for him even if he wont do it for her. She will think about him all the time even if he forgets about her. He will never find another girl who loves him like she does. And when he comes crying back to her because some other girl hurt him she will say "I love you but you hurt me " and will walk away from him just like he did to her.)))))

I got out of the car not knowing what to expect. I walked down the side walk to the door and walked in to school. Ever since the incident last year no one looks at me in the same way. I still have nightmares…. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster as I walked down the hall to my locker. As I walked, people looked at me with that face. I don't know how to describe it but it was one that made me feel even more depressed than I already am.

I reached my locker and opened it finding a picture of her. The tears started to roll down my face. My world was crashing in around me and I started to feel faint. Then I felt a hand I my shoulder. I turned around to find Jake looking at me. The way he looked at me with his eyes gave me comfort. he started to hug me and the tears just seemed to pour out. He lifted my head up and gently kissed me on the forehead. That is something I loved about him. He always knew how to make me feel better when I was at my worst. We have been friends since I can remember and I guess we have just always liked each other more than friends. ever since the incident we have been closer than ever.

He took me home and stayed with me the rest of the day and through the night. I tried to tell him that I was ok and to go home but I guess he knows me well enough to know when I'm lying. It was about 8:30pm the last I knew and next thing I wake up and its 3:38am. I was shaking and I couldn't see straight. I was still in his arms and it looked like he just fell asleep. 3:38am is the time she died. The last time I saw her. I was panicking. I couldn't breath. What was I so post to do. I have to help her. I have to save her. The next thing I know I'm saying her name. "babe what's wrong?". his voice was so comforting and it's the last thing I remember.

A few days later I woke up in the hospital. My mom was sitting next to the bed and Jake was holding my hand on the other side of the bed. "what happened?" I asked in voice that I didn't recognize as my own. My mom started to say something when the doctor walked in. "I'm glad to see you have finally woken up." he said with a smile and I smiled as best I could back. "ms. Stelling, can I see you out here please.". my mom got up "ill be right back honey." she said with a worried voice.

I turned and looked at him. He looked at me very worried and whispered in my ear. "You really scared me this time. I thought I had lost you for good." he looked me directly in the eyes. "I thought I would never get the chance to tell you….." his voice faded and then he spoke again "the chance to tell you… I love you." I could feel myself blush. I was speechless. I wasn't prepared for this. Before I could say anything back my mom walked back into the room with the doctor following.

"You had a panic attach and stopped breathing. Mike saved your life. He gave you mouth to mouth and luckily, you started breathing again." I turned my head to see him blushing. I smiled and that seemed to make him happy. The doctor told me that he wanted to keep me one more night just to be sure I was alright to go home. We agreed and he left. Me and my mom talked for a while and mike finally convinced her to go home for the night, that he would stay here with me and if anything changed he'd call. She kissed me on the forehead and hesitantly left.

"I'm glad you're here" I said to Jake. "I don't know what I would do with out you.". he smiled faintly and then looked away. There was something wrong with him. Something he was trying to hide from me. I didn't want to say anything just yet because I thought he might mention it later.

After 10 minutes of silence went by I finally decided to ask him what was wrong. "can I ask u something?". "sure" he said making it sound like he had no idea where I was going with this. "what are you trying to hide from me?". I kept staring at him looking for any change in his face but there wasn't one. "Maybe I'm wrong" I thought "maybe he was just thinking about everything that had just happened and didn't know what to say.".

"can I tell you something?" he said surprising me. "Yea. You can tell me anything." I tried to sound more confident in what I was saying than I actually was. "I've stuck by your side this whole time through everything even though I still don't really know what's going on." his voice was low but still strong. I started to get a little worried. "after the incident everyone tried to pretend like it never happened and it seems like everyone has just moved on. I know this sounds weird and I don't mean to upset you especially after everything you have gone through but I need to hear it from you." I could see his eyes start to get watery like he was going to start to cry. "what do u need to hear from me…?" I wasn't quite sure what he was going to say but I pretty much had a good idea. "I need to hear what happened that night from you. You were the only one there with her and you were the last to see her before she died. She was as much your best friend as mine and I just need to know what really happened to her." I turned my head. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to tell him but I was afraid that if I did then I wouldn't be able to handle it but if I didn't tell him now I would just have to tell him later. He squeezed my hand like he had done something wrong. "I'm sorry. I should of never asked just forget I ever…." I cut him off. "don't be sorry. I understand why you want to know and you have a right to hear what really happened. But I'm not sure if your going to be able to handle it. And I'm the only one that really knows what went on that night. So I'm sorry if I stutter at some points because you are the first person I'm telling the whole story to and that's only because I trust you." I mumbled the words out but I didn't know what else to say.

"Once I start I'm not sure I'm going to be able to finish and I have to warn you I'm going to cry at parts when I tell you this. Ok?" he looked at me speechless and I just started to tell him what happened….

"we were walking home from school on that Friday when a car pulled over in front of us and a guy got out. Dreya said that she knew him so I thought he was harmless. He offered us a ride home and she said sure. I hesitated. She started to get in the car and turned around and gave me that look that she used to give when she really wanted you to do something. So I got in the car. We drove and drove and I fell asleep. I hadn't really slept the night before because me and Dreya had stayed up all night talking." I stopped and took a deep breath and told myself to keep going. Jake just looked at me waiting to hear more. "when I.. when I woke up, I was tied up and blind folded. I didn't know what to do. I tried to get out of it but I was stuck and there was no way for me to untie the ropes.

I could hear two guys talking but I could barley hear what they were saying. I struggled more, trying to loosen the knots and trying not to make noise because I didn't want them to hear me. They stopped talking. I froze I didn't know what they were going to do. Then I thought about Dreya. I wasn't sure where she was or if she was even with me anymore…." my voice faded and I couldn't say another word.

I started to cry and Jake just held me close. The tears started to roll down his face and I looked at him still crying. I kissed him and told him that I was sorry for everything. That I should of never got in the car or let her get in either and that I was sorry for not being able to finish telling him the rest of it. He just gently pressed my head against his chest and kept telling me that it was ok and that everything was going to be ok.

**Flashback**

The wind was blowing in my hair as I was running to catch up. "Nicole! Wait up." I said out of breath as I caught up to her. She turned and smiled at me. "your lucky I love you and you're my sister or I would of left you here." we both laughed because we knew that we never go anywhere without each other. In actuality we are only best friends but people always thought we were sisters so we started to call each other it. "Where are we going?" I asked knowing that most likely she wouldn't tell me. "just somewhere". I knew it I thought to my self but smiled in return. "so how are we going to get to this somewhere?" I asked while making air quotes while I said somewhere. "you'll see." she moved her eyes brows up and down and we both started laughing again. We kept walking for about 10min until a car pulled over to the side of the road and the driver waved to Nicole. I didn't recognize the car but I knew Nicole knew a lot of people that I didn't. I smiled at the guy in the drivers seat because he stared directly in my eyes and waved at me too. She ran up to the car and kissed the person in the passengers seat. He got out of the car and gave Nicole and big hug and then they started kissing again. I saw his face and realized it was her boyfriend. I never really liked him too much but she seemed to like him more than any other one so I just smiled and acted like I liked him when ever he was around. She waved to me to come with her and I hesitated. She looked at me with that look she had. The one where you knew if she gave it to you that you needed to do what she wanted or she was going to flip on you. So I followed her into the car and I sat behind the driver so he could be behind her boyfriend.


End file.
